I’m Not Talking: Requesting to Join a Facebook Group

Many of my readers know that several years ago, I started the Facebook Group called “Celebrate Hand Quilting.”  This group now has over 1Screen Shot 2015-11-12 at 7.58.38 AM1,000 members.  Each day, we get requests from people to join our wonderful members who share the love of quilting. It saddens me to have to turn people away who may be great quilters… or brand new quilters… or people who want to learn to quilt but, for some reason, have not begun. Unfortunately, every day, we receive several requests from people that we (the Admins for the group) find suspect.  Here is what I sent by private message to four people this morning:  “I would love to add you to the group, but I can’t see any photos or anything on your own Facebook page that shows you to be a quilter. We are very careful when accepting new members and do everything we can to ensure that they are not spammers, which is why I’ve been looking around your own site.”

The only way an Admin has to learn anything about someone who wants to join a group is to visit their personal Facebook page.  Checking profiles is time-consuming, but necessary.  Unfortunately, many people are fearful of Facebook and other social media and have their Facebook profile locked so tightly that nobody can see a thing.  This actually does them more harm than good.

not_talkingWhen he was little (elementary school), one of my boys used to put on a pouty face and in a funny voice say, “I’m not talking.” It was the funniest thing to watch.  That image comes to mind as I write this post. Does your Facebook page tell the world that you are “not talking?”

I understand why people are fearful of allowing strangers access to personal information.  It’s a way to protect yourself and your computer from bad people and electronic harm.  At Celebrate Hand Quilting, we want to protect all our members from stalkers, spammers and other dangerous types; our members are all precious and we don’t want anything to happen to them. Do we want new members? Sure! Just not scary ones!

If you are new to Facebook, you can adjust your privacy settings quite easily.  You can set your posts so that only your friends can read them.  You can set your photos so that only certain people can see them.  Your friend list can also be tweaked to suit your needs.

One thing that I do if someone’s profile is tightly locked down is look to see if Facebook tells me that any of that person’s friends are also members of my Facebook group.  If you have friends in the group, I might take a risk and accept your request to join the group.

If you don’t want to share your friend list, you can put a few photos on your profile that don’t show you or family, but DO show what your interests are.  Let’s say you are trying to join a group about horses.  You could post a few photos of some horses on your page and make only those photos public.  Perhaps you love cooking.  Post a photo of your favorite dish or cooking equipment online.  Make that photo accessible to the whole world.  Do SOMETHING to let the world know SOMETHING about you.  By not doing anything, you’re really telling the world that you’re not interested in communicating with anyone, and that you really don’t want to share anything about yourself.  If that is how you feel, then social media is really not your thing.

Think about it… let’s pretend you are in a coffee shop and I sit down at the table next to you.  I take  a few sips of my coffee, and you try to strike a conversation with me.  “What are your hobbies?”  “Do you have children?”  “What do you do for a living?”  I ignore you, keep drinking my coffee, and make no eye contact. You would probably assume that I want nothing to do with you or anyone else, and a relationship has never been started. “I’m not talking.”

cropped-77787-delphi_sampler004.jpgNow, pretend I sit down and open a quilt magazine to look at.  You spot the magazine and think to yourself, “wow, she likes quilts!”  So you lean a little closer and ask, “Are you a quilter?  What kind of quilts do you like to make?  I enjoy making applique quilts!”  I look up from my magazine and ask, “Machine applique’ or hand applique’?”  BiNGO.  We have something in common, and a conversation has begun, thanks to a non-scary quilt magazine you were able to spot on my table.

Your Facebook profile does not need to be a picture of you, though that is nice.  But a profile picture of a hobby that is a big part of your life tells a little something about you.  It’s an innocent way to smile at the world and give them a non-threatening glimpse at who you are.

Some of you who read this post might think that it’s a little rude or discriminating to let some people into a group and not others.  Today’s world is different than it used to be, and being a Community Moderator (also referred to as a Social Media Manager) is actually an occupation that can actually pay a salary.  It is a necessary task to keep groups functioning properly. There are companies that train people how to monitor groups, and what we are doing at Celebrate Hand Quilting actually follows best practices for monitoring social media.  And, I believe it is a big reason why our group is as successful as it is.  

So we at Celebrate Hand Quilt will keep on doing what we’ve been doing and will enjoy the wonderful new members that come our way.

A Gorgeous New Home

                    A Tale Worth Pondering…


Just down the road from you, a man and a woman hired an architect to design their new home.  You watched from afar as the construction crew arrived to prepare the land that they purchased, dig the basement, set the foundation, and begin laying the framework.  In a short amount of time, you could tell that this was going to be a large home. 

In less than one month, the shell of the home was constructed, and workers began their tasks on the inside.  As they worked behind closed doors, you no longer had a good view of the progress, thus you had no idea what style and design was beginning to unfold. 

One day, a larger crew showed up and began to dig a hole in the back yard.  Another crew showed up a few days later and put some forms in the ground.  Cement trucks began rumbling down your street, and it finally dawned on you that they were putting in a pool.  It turns out that it is a very LARGE pool, and you secretly hope that one day they will invite you over to swim.

Work must be progressing inside, as workers keep showing up day after day.  They come in trucks with hammers, nails, buckets, paint cans, etc.  Delivery trucks line the streets daily to unload kitchen cabinets, plumbing equipment, tile, hard wood for the floors, light fixtures and everything else that would go in a home.  But you have no idea what it will look like when it is finished. 

10 months after the construction began, you walk to your mailbox.  It’s a normal July day; the sun is shining, birds are chirping, children are riding their bikes on the sidewalk.  You open your mailbox and pull out your mail.


You can’t believe your eyes! 

Your new neighbors have invited you to an

open house and swimming party!

You and your partner are so excited to welcome your new neighbors to the neighborhood.  You know they will become your new best friends.  You just KNOW it! 

The day arrives, and with a bottle of wine in one hand and your towel in the other, you walk down to their home and ring the doorbell.  You’re not the first to arrive.  There are several hundred other people there ahead of you!  Where did they come from? Who let them in? But you smile, introduce yourselves to the new owners, and join the other guests who are on tour of the home.

Immediately, you are shocked, and without thinking, start telling the other guests about the house. 

“They should NOT have used that color on the dining room walls! That’s the most ugly color I know of!”

“What were they thinking?  That bathroom is horrible!  Did you see the ceramic tile they chose?”

The layout of the home is all wrong.  Why would they have put the utility room where they did?  A utility room does NOT belong on the second floor!”

“Why did they make me take my shoes off at the door?  My feet aren’t dirty!  Stupid rule, if you ask me.”

About an hour later, your host and hostess invite everyone to meet them outside for a picnic and pool party.  FINALLY!

You go outside, claim your lounge chairs by the pool, strip off your clothes, set down your towels and jump in naked. As you come up for air, you notice that no one else is in the water.  They are all looking at you with their mouths hanging open in aghast.  The host of the party asks you to get out of the water, and hands you a towel.  He leads you out of sight of the crowd, and looks at you.  You wonder what is wrong.

“I’m shocked,” he says.  “I invited you to our open house because I have seen you looking at our home since the construction started.  I knew you were interested in it, and because you live just a few houses away and are around our age, we hoped you would have a lot in common with us and become good friends.  But all you have done is complain and bad mouth us and our choices.  This is our home.  We built it in the style we like, we decorated it ourselves in the colors we love, and we paid for it with our own money. “

“Oh, and one more thing… You might not know this, but I am the pastor of the church down the road.  See those people over there by the pool?  The ones with their swimming suits on?  That is my entire congregation.  I know all of those people, and they know me.  We are friends.  No, better yet, we are family.  Please keep your clothes on when you visit my home.  And if you can’t talk nicely about me behind my back, please do not return.”


Facebook groups are no different.  The person who created the group gets to choose the wallpaper, drapes and colors.  The person who created the group gets to set the rules for all who enter.  If you don’t like the way it looks, if you don’t like the people in the group or the rules which are in place, grab your towel and leave.  You will be the one everyone is talking about, and you might not want to hear what they have to say.


Hand Quilting Supplies is Now Open!

Hand Quilting Supplies started as part of a natural progression that began in October, 2011. It was inspired by an exciting response to a request for hand quilters to share their work on this very blog!  The article asked hand quilters to create a link to a hand quilted item on their own blog. The response grew, and hand quilters from all around the world requested a blog where they could share more than just one quilt. They wanted a forum to discuss, compare, and enjoy hand quilting with others who also had a passion for the process. The blog Celebrate Hand Quilting began with a group of talented hand quilters from around the world who were willing to take turns and write articles about their own quilting experiences. Following the blog’s success, a Facebook group was started. 

As of June 21, 2014, the Facebook group now consists of over 7,200 hand quilters! If you would like to be a writer for the Celebrate Hand Quilting blog, or would like to join the Facebook group, please email Caron.

Throughout many discussions, quilters shared their frustration with the lack of available resources for hand quilters. They not only wanted a shop where they could find supplies, but a person who knows about hand quilting… someone who is a hand quilter themselves, someone they can lean on when they have questions or need suggestions. As a result, HQS was born.

Hand Quilting Supplies, started in May 2014, is owned by Caron L. Mosey and is based in Flushing, Michigan, U.S.A.. The shop will gradually increase inventory that is specific to the hand quilter. Quality hand quilting thread, thimbles, needles, notions, and everything the hand quilter needs will be available. If something you need is not found on the site, or if you have a how-to question, please feel free to ASK CARON.

Win a $25 gift certificate to HandQuiltingSupplies.com!
1) Grab our logo and put it on your blog following the directions  below.  When you have it on your blog and it links to our site at http://www.handquiltingsupplies.com,
2) leave a comment below with a link to your blog where we can see it.  Be sure your have your email linked to your comment so I can find you!  Deadline for entry is July 4, 2014.  One lucky winner’s name will be pulled out of the hat on July 4th.

Directions: Right click on the logo at the top of this post. Save the logo to your computer (remember where you put it!) Using Blogger, go to Layout, Add a Gadget, and choose Image. Fill in the form: Title: Hand Quilting Supplies 

Link: http://www.handquiltingsupplies.com You can leave the Caption blank or put something there if you like. It isn’t necessary. Image: From your computer, find the image that you saved and click on that. Click save, and you’re done!

Happy Shopping, and as always, Celebrate Hand Quilting!

Joining a Facebook Group

There are too many Facebook groups to count; that is a given.  But there is sure to be one, two or more groups out there that is/are designed with YOU in mind. 

In the event that you have not seen this, here is how the groups are set up:




Who can join?

Anyone can join or be added by a member

Anyone can ask to join or be added

Anyone, but they have to be added

Who can see the group name and who’s in it?



Only members

Who can see the group tags?



Only members

Who can see the group description?



Only members

Who can see what members post in the group?


Only members

Only members

Who can find the group in search?



Only members

Who can see stories about the group on Facebook (like in News Feed and search)?



Only members

FB Join buttonSuppose you want to join a closed group.  You must visit the group page, where you will click on a button that says JOIN.  Asking to join the group sends a message to the ADMINISTRATOR of the group, who will need to approve you.

Every group has different requirements for approval, which are set into place by the Administrator. 

Here are some things I look for in people who request to join the Celebrate Hand Quilting Group:

    • I will visit your own Facebook page and look for evidence that you are, indeed, a quilter
    • I will look to see if you are a HAND quilter.  Perhaps you have never hand quilted anything!  That is fine, as you may want to join our group to learn how.  But if there is nothing on your blog that tells me you are interested in quilting, you may not be accepted.
    • If your Facebook page is for your own longarm quilting business, you will not be accepted.  Our group is for hand quilters.
    • I will look at other groups that you belong to.  If all your groups are marketing groups or related to advertising, you will not be accepted.
    • If the only photo of you is one of you in a bikini looking sexy, and if there is no other information available about you, you will not be accepted.
    • If your Facebook page is locked down so tightly that nobody can tell anything about you – no photos, no location, no friends, etc.  you will not be accepted.

So why would an Administrator have such guidelines in place?  It’s simple.  Most Administrators want their group to be successful.  They do NOT want spam.  They do NOT want you there to advertise your wares.  They do not want you joining the group simply to give you access to more people to prey upon.  We want our members to share a common interest and enjoy each other’s company.

Are you a hand quilter?  We would love to have you join our group!